Weirdness

Even on days when I try not to or just plain don't want to eat red meat, after a few days my body is screaming at me to have it. I wonder if I had more veggies today would it have still been screaming. I don't know. I had beans and everything too so it couldn't have been just protein. I think I'm hardwired to eat meat... well, it comes in handy.

Doing a lot of spiritual stuff or letting your mind travel to higher dimensions can make you feel really ungrounded. Out of sorts and not in touch with your body, mind very obviously urged me (while half-asleep) to have some red meat. There was bacon left, so I defrosted it and had two strips. I feel less like the universe is being siphoned into my head. Sounds cool, but I'm not meant to process that much raw data during my waking hours @_@ This is why I don't need drugs people! Lol

The Butterfly

 Image Credit: Frances Fabian

The funniest thing about this picture is what I was talking about when it was snapped. Frances was listening to me moan and groan about the bane of my exsistance. Haha, I guess the butterfly was saying, "Don't worry babe, it'll be all over soon." If so, YES! Emphatic Rarity YES! I have been waiting for so long for "that" situation to get better. It's a shared sit. and ugh... just change already!

The other weird thing is that there were a bunch of cabbage butterflies around that day, but a monarch decided to land on my shoulder. How cool is that?!? Haha, I've heard the color counts for something. Black is complete death as in transformation and orange is joy, laughter, and emotion. I've definitely gone through a super death since then... I feel the good stuff coming soon. Whoa, Dad called me just now, but I'm at my internship--can't pick it up. Ugh! I hope it's good news. I have been doing reiki (and sending it!) for this reason.

Because of the way I am, I want to pull meaning out of the Monarch part of Monarch Butterfly. Should I watch more Venture Brothers? XD I still haven's seen Season 4...

Oh yeah, maybe I will totally "rule" at something? Yes, yes? :D

Edit: whoa, it wasn't a monarch. I looked closely and noticed there is no black surrounding the wing like a typical Monarch butterfly. It's probably some sort of fritillary...

Out of Reach

No other time exists
So sweet like this, as if it
Could turn my mind from now
Weathered sorrow into this
Learning now to be his

One dream to love
And never seperate
From force I once rebuked
Pitter patters on its way
To telling me the truth

Let love dissolve what I thought I'd be
Draw nearer love
And into me

Could this happen
Could we change enough
To compensate for what we lack, to take each other back?

I believe we
Can come together
Just notice me

I open heart
You limit head
Speech pours through me
Lit path to your heart calls cooly
Like you don't believe
In our possibility
"She can't be me."

Meant For One

(Edited version of original that's truer to its original inspiration)

Your note struck on piano
Made a chord ring in my heart
But the feeling then fell flat:
B-natural played as sharp

Though our very first meeting
Was a double harmony
Soon both our ears were ringing
In song's bitter irony

Perhaps you misunderstood--
I meant no acrimony
My insults signaled true love's
Awkward, desperate testimony

Since both my hands reached out
To beat the single talking drum, I
Made my meter frantic and unsure
And sounded such a lonely bum

So delicate, then, forceful!
And full of misplayed notes
My aria is awful...
Better leave it in my throat

Running Through

I don't feel too many things
When I feel I am happy
Then the feeling's gone again
I am so sad again
Why so unhappy?

A hint, a joy, a pain from you
Rejoice because you feel!
A flame flickers
Smoke is what I see through
You laugh because you steal

And take from me
Kindness banished
And take all I gave
And take
and take
Take
and Take

And take all I gave to you
and take what you feel
And take, take, take from me--
Take the love you steal

Savanna

Mother Memory

Her gaze is always passionate
The eyes one swirling sea
And long ago from consciousness
She weft the fate of me

Mother Memory
If our night is rest
Not adversary
Will you let me play the threads
Or view my aging tapestry?

My mind was not so ardent
Until you let me see
The spirit of your parchment
Is our history!

...Of the last time I was truly happy
When I saw the clouds
Roll on in like l o n g s t r i p s
of rippling cotton

The back of my back where my
Back of my soul
Tingled and refused to come out of my murky depths
(I've never seen a fish shake its head before)

I can't remember when there was such a
Sentiment
Day
like this,
or anything-

Despondency

My pages are covered
with awkward notes
Trying to recapture the important dreams
filled with you

Waning, my own moon
without nothing
I can't be you
with nothing I'm no more than a fairy wish

A fairy tale is a dream of a dream
A wish you can't believe
What dreamless sleep can't contain

Untitled

Sorry I haven't updated since September. I've been dry then I've been busy, and now I'm still busy... writing other stuff. I'll put more up tomorrow or Wednesday. Here's a little blip on your radar for now.

Flying through the foxgloves

Rolling through the fields she is innocent

Ignorant of darker words

And hurting

No appeal to madness

Insensitive to all amiss

Directing Miss

Take us to a shore

South Sound

Of where this is

Eschewing violence

For deeper bliss

No promise

Just a kiss

Thula Cygnus

The call her the Beautiful Example
And she sets us free
Under the folds of her dreams
Do we bet to really be

Never does night knit more smoothly
The scorching sun's onset, for weakly
Do the rays of Ra
Beset our fair lunette

A dove, a swan, an egret
She is all gentle birds I've met, and lofty
Is our lovely lady
Robust, thickset with honey

Miel, miel, her stony softness
Is a threat to any bee
Mother moon
Nestles warmly, in the armpit of a tree

I wrote this last night...

The season of the spirits just started today. I got a "whif" of it coming to school this morning. Also, last night's dream had a mythic-mystic quality I only get when this season comes around. It flowed more as a dream... wasn't harsh in the least. So now's a good time to make plans before Halloween.

Hmm...

Someone pointed out that the 1st poem sounds unfinished.... heh heh. At that point in my life I couldn't find a resolution, but now I'm resolved to either 1) Make my older poems complete or 2)discard the ones I can't fix. There's also 3) Not put them up at all AHAHAHHAHAAA

Hrumph, anyway, they're more a sign of how I'm feeling at a particular moment, so by dump-- er, communicating that feeling to y'all I feel exonerated. Thanks ;D

I think this was from Monday...

When the moon wanes
"We reflect"

Praising Diana
"See our choices, must protect"

Flailing madly
"Buh--Free!... you, you respect!"

Ending Soundly
"Mom, I crushed the tree insect"

GET IT?! Ah well, it deserves its subtlety. *goes to add stuff to the first entry